Children worry about going to school due to separation anxiety, fear of the unfamiliar environment, insecurity around new people, adjusting to new routines, and being influenced by the emotions of their peers.

Meena was distressed that her child sahana is crying right in the morning while getting ready. Even during brushing she said, “no school today, mama…Please”.

Meena’s heart broke listening to her child plead like that. She asked her husband Mohan, “did we make a mistake in letting her go to school so early?” 

Mohan calmly looked at his wife, “It is like im having two children at home. Why do you worry? We discussed a lot before joining in school. So why have doubts now?” 

Still unconvinced, they met their pediatrician who listened to their questions and then went on to explain. 

For children this world itself is new, going out from anywhere away from places they know is nothing more than self preservation. Like how they cried while entering this world, or refused to go to strangers from their mothers side, it is one of the instincts that protect them. But also we need to help them wean from this habit soon, else their dependence on the comfort factor will increase which leads to decreased opportunity for them to explore their curious side. This is what leads to learning. 

While going to school, children cry because they experience a lot of emotions. Some of it are as follows: 

Separation anxiety: Imagine being in a completely new city where you don’t know a single person. Scary, right? That’s what your child feels when you leave them in kindergarten. They’re used to seeing your familiar face every day, and now they’re with new people, new toys, new smells—everything’s different. No wonder they’re crying! It’s just their way of saying, “Hey, I’m feeling a bit lost here.”
 

Fear of the Unknown: Remember when you were little and were convinced there were monsters under your bed? Your child feels the same about going to a new place. It’s not the school itself; it’s the “unknown” that’s scary. New faces, new rules, and new surroundings can be as nerve-wracking to them as those imaginary monsters.

 Feeling Insecure: Like Being the New Kid on the Playground

Think about the last time you walked into a party where you didn’t know anyone. Awkward, right? For kids, kindergarten can feel like walking into a big, noisy room full of strangers. They may be unsure of how to make friends or talk to the teacher, which makes them feel insecure.

Change in Routine: Adjusting to a New Time Zone

We all know how tough jet lag can be when traveling to a different time zone. It’s a similar feeling for kids who are suddenly waking up earlier, getting dressed in uniforms, and following a strict schedule. Their little bodies and minds need time to adjust!

Seeing Other Kids Cry: The Domino Effect
Ever seen how laughter is contagious? Well, so is crying! When one child starts crying, it can be like watching a row of dominoes fall. Kids look around and see other children crying, and they think, “Wait, maybe I should be crying too!” It’s all about comfort and reassurance, and if everyone else seems upset, they start feeling the same way.

Being Pampered at Home: The Cozy Cocoon

If your child is used to being pampered and comforted at home, stepping out of that cozy cocoon can be jarring. Think about when you’ve had a lazy Sunday at home, and suddenly, Monday hits with work and deadlines—it’s tough to transition! Kids who generally doted on at home. They rule your household. So they might struggle with adjusting to a place where they have to share attention and follow rules.

1. Create a Goodbye Ritual
   Establish a special goodbye routine—like a high-five, a secret handshake, or a special phrase (e.g., “See you soon, my little superhero!”). Kids find comfort in repetition, and this ritual will remind them that goodbyes are only temporary.
2. Talk About School Positively
   When you talk about school, use an enthusiastic and positive tone. Share fun stories about what they might do there: “You’ll get to paint with your friends!” or “They have a cool slide in the playground!” This creates excitement rather than anxiety.
3. Bring a Comfort Object
   Allow your child to bring something familiar from home, like a small stuffed toy or a family photo in their backpack. It’s like having a piece of home with them, giving them comfort when they need it.
4. Set Up a Consistent Morning Routine
   Kids thrive on routines. Wake up at the same time, follow a regular breakfast schedule, and leave the house with enough time to avoid rushing. A predictable morning helps reduce anxiety and builds confidence.
5. Don’t Linger at Drop-Off
   Once you say your goodbye, leave promptly. Lingering around can send mixed signals, making your child think you’re unsure about leaving them there. Trust the teachers—they’re pros at comforting kids after parents leave.
6. Praise Them After School
   When you pick them up, focus on the positive moments from their day. Even if they had a rough morning, ask them what fun thing happened or which new friend they met. Highlighting the good stuff helps them look forward to the next day.
7. Read Books About Starting School
   Children’s books like “The Kissing Hand” by Audrey Penn or “Llama Llama Misses Mama” by Anna Dewdney can help them understand and relate to their feelings. Stories are a great way to show them that what they’re experiencing is normal and that others feel the same way.